Highmoon's Ponderings

Originally published at The Literary Nurse.

Today I took my final exam for Professional Nursing: Concepts & Issues, the one class I was taking over the summer semester as it was the only pre-requisite class I needed for the FIU Nursing program. Last week my group did an in-class presentation on NICU Nursing for which we all got a 95/100. I don’t know what grade I got on my final yet, but short of getting an F on it (which I won’t), I’ll still get an A in the class. So, I’m calling it:

• Professional Nursing: Concepts & Issues – A

Today also marks my last day as an FIU student for the time being. As I’ve said before, this actually makes me sad; I really like FIU, even with all its quirks, so I will miss not being a student there. After class I chatted with a couple of my fellow classmates, one of them who was accepted into the BSN program, two who weren’t, and we blew some steam. Heck, even the guy who got in (he has a 4.0 GPA) was venting. We’ve learned a few things here and there about some of the people accepted that left us scratching our heads or downright calling foul. I won’t go into any of it, though, because it serves no purpose now after the steam was vented off.

The other day I found another one of my classmates on Facebook and saw that he also had not been accepted. We expressed mutual sympathy and exchanged good wishes. When he asked, and I told him, why I had not been accepted, that it had all been due to a GPA failing, he said the following:

…selection process at fiu is kinda wack imo. Just cause you are a book worm does not mean you will function well. Like lets be real here dude. You would be doing all the hands on shit in anatomy, digesting and understanding while most just stood around grossed that you were holding an arm.[sic]

Momentary ego-boost aside (I won’t lie), that right there made me feel really good. Professors deal with hundreds and hundreds of students. While they may learn your name during class, there’s little guarantee that will last once you’ve moved on in most cases. Getting noticed by a professor who is also dealing with 119 other students is next to impossible. Getting noticed by your peers, that’s what counts. The above is not the first thing to that effect I’ve been told. I always dismiss it with an awkward smile but to be recognized by those who are going through the paces with you, that’s what counts. That my peers noticed what I was doing, how I was doing it, why I was doing it, and that I did it well, regardless of the grade on the exam, that is gold to a student. It means I’m on the right path.

Let’s face it, this was my admission slot to lose, and I lost it. I did. Me. I accept that. I own that. I make my peace with that.

Now it’s time to move on. There’s no Plan B. There’s Plan A waiting to be implemented. Let’s do this.

I better get this written down before I blink and February is halfway gone!

So how did January go at school? Not bad, overall. My classes have progressed along just fine, and I’m doing just fine in all of them except for one.

In Human Physiology we’ve covered a lot of material. A lot. The test was actually today, but today is Feb so I’ll talk about this later on. But I’m getting it. I’m not having any problems with the material, and what’s even better, I’m recalling more and more whatever I had learned before and adding it to the new things I’m learning. It’s a bit of a mess in my head because some stuff is recalled in Spanish and other in English, but I can make sense of it just fine.

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My first week back at FIU (and University life in general) is over and I’ve quite a few people wanting to know how it went, so the easiest thing is to write this post.

General

It’s been eight years since I graduated with my BA in English, and seven since I went back (and quickly dropped out of) my Masters, so it’s been a while since I’ve been in a classroom for formal schooling and lecturing. It’s been even longer since my last Science or Math class, and that’s pretty much all I have in front of me now, which makes it even more daunting. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but thankfully, it has been not bad at all.

Since I’m taking general Science pre-requisites I need for the Nursing program, it means I am with mostly freshmen in class, which means my professors are, for the most part, taking the first few class sessions fairly easy. This isn’t the Fall semester, when the freshmen would’ve been right out of high school, so we’ve started digging into our classes proper by the second session, but even so, we’re going at a nice, easy pace. This has been wonderful for me, because it allowed me to get my bearings as well, and ease into University-mind once more.

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Though I received my acceptance letter from FIU a couple of weeks back, the process of getting everything set up in their system was a little slower. Add to that the move and some amount of lethargy on my part, and it results in me not having registered yet for the Spring 2010 semester, starting January 4 (ack!).

No more; I sat down yesterday at my computer with my mooched wifi connection and navigated the murky waters of the greater FIU website, filling out every single form I still needed to (FAFSA, I’m looking at you), applying for Financial Aid, and finally going through the process of registration (and I’m exagerating a bit – the new website is so much better than what was in place when I graduated in 2002!). A couple of hours later I was done and registered for my first semester of pre-Nursing, en route to my BSN.

As is Law, the first semester’s schedule–whether for freshmen or returning students–always sucks, and mine is no exception. Check this out:

• PCB 2099 Fundamentals of Physiology – Mo/We/Fr 9:00AM – 9:50AM
• PCB 2099L Fundamentals of Physiology Lab – Fr 10:00AM – 12:45PM
• PHI 2600 Intro to Ethics – Mo/We/Fr 2:00PM – 2:50PM
• PSY 2012 Intro to Psychology – Tu/Th 11:00AM – 12:15PM
• STA 2122 Intro to Statistics I – Tu/Th 5:00PM – 6:15PM

On Mondays and Wednesday I have a 4 hour gap in the middle, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have a 5 hour gap, which just couldn’t be helped in order to keep all my classes in the same campus. Time to study, I guess.

I am scared shitless, but excited as hell at the same time. In a couple of weeks, it’ll all start.

Damn, I need to get the books now.

Today I turn 35 years old. It’s a bit of a scary number, I have to admit. If 70 years is the general life expectancy (and the psalm kinda reinforces that), it means I’m squarely at my mid-life point. I’m not going to go out and buy a convertible or leave my wife for a 20-year old bimbo (though I did get a new bike, see below), but it does make me think about what’s gone on and what’s to come.

The most important event of my past year simply was the illness, convalescence and death of my mother; it simply dominated 2009 for me, having me spend a combined 4 months in Puerto Rico spread out from February to August. This has also affected me deeply, making this day a bittersweet affair. I spent all of last week in a really bad funk (though I tried not to, unsuccessfully) because of the simple realization that today would come and go and I would not get a call from Mom. I’m better now than I was last month, but I still feel it from time to time, and last week it was overwhelming. But I know she would not like it all to see me in this despair, so I move along.

This year, however, I opted not to have a birthday party of any kind. It helps that 99% of my friends are all people I interact with online and do not live in Miami, so it makes putting a party together a bit harder. Besides, it just did not feel right.

As I look forward, I see my desire and plans to enter the School of Nursing at FIU, and simply cannot wait to get that started. I hope to have all the admissions stuff ironed out by the end of this week, next one tops, so I can get on with the rest of the paperwork needed. I want to start in the Spring, period.

This move into Nursing actually matches a general shift in my mood and personality of late: I want to do things that are greater than myself. Even when writing about bikes in Slow Bike Miami, I am hoping to turn that into a way to help out the general bicycling community, to help the City of Miami/Miami Beach, to reach out beyond my own experience into connecting with others. I am tired of worrying only about myself and my immediate surroundings; I long to affect an area greater than me. I’m still figuring out how to do that, but that’s where my inner compass is taking me. I know Mom would be proud.

So, we’ll see what 35 brings. I’m ready to face it and make the most of it.

On a lighter note, I can talk about two birthday gifts I have gotten so far, both of which are amazing.

The first one is a book given to me by my wife. I actually got this about a month ago as an early present, and it still astounds me.

Gray’s Anatomy: The Anatomical Basis of Clinical Practice, Expert Consult – Online and Print

This is a massive book. Huge. Gargantuan,even! Here it is compared to the 575-pages Pathfinder RPG and the 630-page Starblazer Adventures RPG, the other two massive books I own.

All that medical awesomeness AND it comes with an online version as well. It’s an awesome gift, and I thank my wife so much for it. With this, my Nursing Library has now officially been started.

The second one is the new Electra Amsterdam bike I bought for myself. You can read all about that gift over at Slow Bike Miami.

As of Tuesday I’ve been back in Miami for a week and just now is when I’m finally starting to get back into the groove of daily life. I spent almost two months in Puerto Rico, and that completely threw me for a loop, especially once I got back home. The first couple of days I was walking around in a daze, almost seeing everything as if for the first time, or as if from a previous life. I’m very thankful to my wife who put up with me during this readjustment period.

Since being back I have filled out and submitted my application to re-enter FIU as part of the School of Nursing. I had to take care of a couple of things, but all’s well and good now and I simply wait for their answer. I’m hoping I’ll be able to take a class or two this semester, but if not, I then start full tilt come January. I’m very excited about this, I cannot wait to get started. I’ve had a couple of moments where I doubt myself, start to panic about what I’m about to undertake, feel my resolution waning, but I just push it all away and continue forward.

As for Mom, she’s at my aunt’s house and under hospice care. I have only praises for the care she’s getting from her hospice; the nurses come daily and punctually, treat her well and are not condescending with anyone in the house, take great care of her and attend to all her needs. She’s fairly stable, but she’s weak, and suffers from cycles of dizzyness and vomiting that sometimes render her little more than a sleeping machine. When I talk to her on the phone I can usually tell how she’s doing and though earlier this week she was a bit delicate, today she sounded a little stronger. At least the pain is not bothering her. The best way to sum it up is, she’s as well as can be expected given her condition, but we take things one day at a time.

Saturday, August 8th, is her 56th birthday. If you’d like to leave her a birthday wish on her Facebook page, click on the badge below and go ahead. I’ll be checking the account to approve any new friend request.

Wanda I. Robles | Create Your Badge